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(those eyes, those eyes)


THANKSGIVING

When you know the future, it can do funny things to the present. As I was growing up, I remember my parents telling me I should be thankful for whatever chore or assignment or rainy day came my way because I could be dead tomorrow. It didn’t do much for me. I was never very impressed with the tactic. However, I could safely ignore it because it was a probability. Anything could happen. It wasn’t a certainty. Sam’s flight to Croatia, and his year-(century)-long stay in Zagreb is a certainty. And it’s affecting every moment I spend with him now. I guess you could say that it certainly focuses my life quite wonderfully. I guess you could also say that I should remember the starving kids around the world. I mean, yeah. And yeah. But that doesn’t change the reality. He’s really going. December 30.

When I first heard the news of Sam settling in Croatia, I spent a week stomping around, furious and how could they do this and how could it possibly be good for Sam…. yadda yadda yadda. Sonja helped me understand why this trip was so necessary, and I tried to let go my anger. It was Paul who finally convinced me, who instinctively knew the way to get my full support. See, when my son John was born Mary spent the first two years at home, providing full time caregiving while I worked. When he turned two, I took over. For the next two years I spent every day with John, watching him grow, sharing his joys and his pains, and all that other good stuff. They were the best years of my life. Nothing comes closer to heaven for me than that. So Paul looks at me, reminds me of my time with John, says he’s always been envious of that, and this year will give him time with Sam. No work, no stress, just play (in that amazing, exhausting, stimulating, challenging, intellectually exciting- watching brain development happen in front of your eyes- and fun way that play so encompasses the child’s world). How could I resist that? He had me by the short hairs, and all I could do was buck up and get off their backs.

Each day with Sam becomes even more precious than it was prior to the Croatia plan, not surprisingly. For Thanksgiving we drove down to Chadds Ford, PA, to Mary’s brother and Sister-in-Law’s place, a good three hour drive.

Tim and Maryann have a magnificent house surrounded by acres of
trees, and Sam loved all of it.

But he fell mostly in love with Tim’s tractor. Sam has a particular fondness for mechanical beasts of all descriptions: his favorite place in the world is anywhere he can find a good “CONTSTRUCTION ZONE.”

At first he wanted to simply admire the tractor from afar. He watched Tim teaching Paul and Sonja, before he would venture too close. But after not too long, he was willing to sit with Grandpa and Tim behind the wheel. Afterwards, watching Tim grade the driveway, Sam simply stared in a wonderful mixture of awe and pleasure. A mixture that few photos can capture (which is an excuse for my complete inability to get the shot)

Another pleasure was throwing sticks. Simple, yet effective. Encouraged by John, Sam would count “1…2…3…4..go” and John would toss the stick into the gully. Then they would reverse, with John counting and Sam throwing. Try it sometime. Betcha it’ll bring back a few memories ?
Afterwards it was time for some chores: specifically, leaf blowing.

As it was getting dark, and we moved into the house, Tim brought out a rocking horse on steroid springs…. And, even better, a pair of cowboy boots to go with it.

And we couldn’t resist the group photo with horse.


Tim also brought out a natty nautical cap that Mary was fond of. Notice how Sam is eyeing it. Mary got the hint quickly and even though it rather didn’t fit, Sam really liked it.

Then it was time for a homey diaper change in front of a lovely fire. Not sure if this qualifies in the exotic-diaper-change-locales photo series, but hey, you gotta love those boots. Yes, his diaper was changed and his boots stayed on. What a man.

Dinner time and the cameras came out. With all the photos taken, I’m hoping one of you who were there will send me some to put on Sam’s blog. No matter how big or small the meal, Sam still enjoys getting fed and Dad enjoys encouraging him and demonstrating the proper mouth technique, whether it’s eating or blowing out candles.

After dinner came the family entertainment phase, which Sam was quite happy to lead, performing on Hammond Organ and Vocals. First he and John had to discuss the appropriate chord changes for the opening song
.

Then Sam had to give instructions to the band. And then it was a long hot rendition of Yellow Submarine, with Sam squeezing out the impassioned lines.

The set list (for the collectors out there): Yellow Submarine, All you need is love, All Together now, Puff the Magic Dragon, Owl and the Pussycat, Twinkle Twinkle b/w ABCD.

The finest moment, and the best song, and the one that most enthralled Sam (who was trying to jam to it on the organ) was performed by Mary’s brother, Theo. It’s called Little Rabbit Fou Fou, and it goes like this:

(spoken) “The Good Fairy woke up and looked down into the forest and she saw Little Rabbit Fou Fou scooping up field mice and bopping them on the head. So she came down to Little Rabbit Fou Fou and said ‘Little Rabbit Fou Fou I’m going to give you three chances to be good, or I will turn you into a goon.’ The Good Fairy woke up the next day and saw Little Rabbit Fou Fou scooping up field mice and bopping them on the head. She sang:

Little Rabbit Fou Fou I don’t wanna see you
Scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head.

(spoken) ‘You have two more chances to be good, or I will turn you into a goon’ The next morning, the Good Fairy looked down and saw Little Rabbit Fou Fou scooping up field mice and bopping them on the head. She sang:

Little Rabbit Fou Fou I don’t wanna see you
Scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head.

(spoken) ‘You have one more chance to be good, or I will turn you into a goon’ The next morning, the Good Fairy looked down and saw Little Rabbit Fou Fou scooping up field mice and bopping them on the head. She sang:

Little Rabbit Fou Fou I don’t wanna see you
Scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head.

(spoken) ’I have given you three chances and now I have no choice but to turn you into a Goooooooooonnnnnnnnnn.’

And according to Theo, the moral of the story is “Hare today, goon tomorrow.”

The party lasted into the wee hours, a good time was had by all, and Sam lasted longer than his Dad, but not by much.




(p.s. don't forget to click on both the small photos- which will make them larger- as well as on the highlighted words)

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........SAM AT WORK...........

My Fridays with Sam have become increasingly sacrosanct. As time slips by, and the day for his departure to Croatia looms, I am mad crazy for these few hours we have together. So when learned I was going to have to be at BOTH my jobs that day- in each case to oversee a particular project- I was rather dismayed. Sonja was wonderful, as usual, and came up with the obvious solution: bring Sam.

So it was Bring-Grandson-to-Work day. If you think showing Sam off on this silly blog is fun, showing him off in person is a thousand times greater. Besides, my co-workers are all sick of me talking about Sam all the time, and me forcing them to look at his pictures, and me moaning around the place about his upcoming departure, and they hadn’t seen him in months, so I figured the least I could do was let them see him.

First stop was Goddard Riverside Head Start where I provide occasional consulting services. Goddard serves the recent-immigrant Mexican community on the upper west side, and we arrived early in the morning before, unfortunately, any of the kids were there. But Sam made himself at home both in the office and in the classroom. I was there to participate in a meeting of parents and community health providers. The latter were making presentations to the parents, and at one lovely point, Sam strode up to one of the presenters, carrying a newly-discovered book, and calmly ordered him to read.

Which the presenter did. No one can resist that little boy.

From there it was off to Grand Street Settlement on the lower east side of NYC. One of the earliest of the great Settlement houses created at the turn of the century to help new immigrants, primarily from Eastern Europe, settle in to their new country. Today, the immigrants are primarily from Asia and Latin America (40% of New Yorkers living in the city today were not born in this country), but the Settlement houses still pursue their mission. Part of that mission is early education opportunities for children: Early Head Start, Head Start, Day Care, Universal Pre-Kindergarten. When Sam and I arrived he ran for “the train”, the large multi-kid stroller/carriages, and climbed aboard, demanding that Jessica, our invaluable administrative assistant, push him through the hallways. And he managed to start taking it apart, and using the roof as an umbrella.
What Sam really wanted to do, however, was play with the other kids (“biggg kids” he says). At times he was a bit overwhelmed by the sheer numbers, and would withdraw into my office to sit and quietly read a book to himself. I was very impressed with his ability to self-regulate, and minimize overstimulation. But soon it was back out into the hallways and classrooms with his new friends.

A good Friday. As memorable as it should be.





p.s. As Sam would say: “Check THIS out”: Sam with The Flying Glove. The dark glasses not only look cool, but they protect him from the feared Glove. A principal bad guy in the Yellow Submarine saga, the Glove runs with the Blue Meanie crowd to ravage Pepperland. Only Music can stop it, and Sam now knows all the words to the song. (watching him developmentally master his fears is an amazing thing)

p.p.s And check THIS out: once again, Sam is laughing. What is it this time? It’s a one minute film, that Sam watched more than a dozen times, laughing at the climax each time, as though it were brand new. To see it, go here, then find the ‘button’ that says “Puppet Stuff”, click on it, look at the top of the ‘tv guide’ page and click on “Homestar vs Little Girl 2”. And enjoy.

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I wish there was a way to adequately convey my sadness, anger, and general sense of disconnection with my country following the recent election. Although Mary and I will continue to fight, our sense of time running out increases in direct proportion to our age. We can’t be sure that we’ll still be alive when, and if, this country ever decides to use its strength for social good.

So on a personal level it really doesn’t matter. But for Sam, and for his generation both in America and around the world, I am very afraid. And that saddens me.

And angers me. My thoughts are best expressed in the concession speech that Kerry wanted to give.

But we WILL continue the struggle.

Sam deserves no less.

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AS PROMISED.... (thanks again Dave!)



a well-deserved hug from a proud husband


Don't she look gorgeous?

Sam is too too excited that Mom has finished! And that she has returned to him. Note the prominently displayed socks; this was Sonja's one and only purchase- oh my, she splurged- at the Marathon Expo: a pair of blister-prevention socks. She's smiling because they worked! She was pleased with her investment.

During the run she decided to 'dedicate' each mile to a particular friend and/or family member, and as the miles piled up she found it inspiring to meditate on the joy that each person has brought to her life.

Yes, you were one of them.

I figure I was about mile 22 when she was doing all that cursing...

Her running meditation certainly was successful: wouldn't you like to look this good after completing a fast 26 mile run?: happy moments

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MOM RUNS THE NEW YORK CITY MARATHON (but doesn't beat Paula Radcliffe)



And Sam wore his hand-colored (by Dad) 2004 Marathon t-shirt.

Despite a two week illness, full time mothering duties, two jobs, and a hectic rehearsal schedule for her new theatre piece, Sonja somehow found the time to train and run the marathon. Her time, 4:20 (I was pushing her not to break 4:45 to prevent injury) was impressive, her fancy non-blister socks worked well, she relaxed after 13 miles and started simply enjoying the 26 mile long party, and she finished with a smile. Wish I could show you, but my borrowed camera died. The famous (and wonderfully kind) Dave Gorman came out to wish Sonja well and he had a lovely camera and took lovely photos and promised me he'd e-mail them to me when he can.

On Friday, Sam and I joined Sonja to pick up her race number and other goodies at the Marathon Expo held at the Javits Center. Which became #474 in the exotic diaper changing locales series.

(I had a great one with the Statue of Liberty in the background, but it was on the stolen chip)

(Don't forget to click on the photo above to see it bigger)