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4,294 miles

I miss his laugh. That, probably more than anything, seems to define Sam for me right now. When he gets started he doesn’t stop. There is nothing ‘knowing’ about it, nothing ironic or post-modern, not even any innocence. It simply is. Blessedly free of self-knowledge. I admit I could be fooling myself, could be investing in his laugh more than it warrants, and indulging in weepy nostalgia. But, you know what? I don’t give a damn anymore. To accusations of wallowing I say, so? Your point?

Yes, I am happy that he’s happy over there far away over the seas 4,294 miles from home…. I still think Sonja and Paul made the right choice. And I’m still wallowing.

This morning it was this picture that tore at my heart. A simple one, taken on the morning of a trip with me to the Natural History museum (celebrated in the first picture book we made for him in Croatia): he’s in his pajamas, curled around his juice bottle, legs up, toes spread, looking curious/mesmerized at whatever Grandma is doing/reading. His whole body demonstrates the openness of that curiousity. It’s a photograph that demonstrates, for me, the freshness of the boy’s brain. Unless we’re Buddhist monks who have meditated for decades, we adults are unable to look at anything fresh. There are too many associations that have been built up over the years in our brains. It’s probably one of the reasons that those of us who would like to look at things fresh, new, and really see them as such, are so attracted to kids like Sam. I’m both envious, and awed.



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Enough of this. In Croatia, Sam is helping to get his new apartment ready, as you can see in the photo above (“oh my god, is it lead paint he’s sanding??” worries his grandmother). The apartment is in the oldest part of Zagreb, and I can testify to its beauty, and to its celebration of history: here’s a case where layers of associations built up over hundreds of years, bring a warmth and depth that are the polar opposite of the ‘freshness’ I mentioned above, but equally awe-inspiring. I’m going to ask Paul for more pictures of his neighborhood, but until then, this one taken outside their apartment building gives a good sense of that depth.

Paul writes:

We have started to get the new place into shape! Sam and I go there in the mornings and Sonja meets us for lunch. It's a little cold in there right now as the heat is off until we move in. As you can see from the pics young Samwise is very helpful...

Things are moving on as we try to get accustomed to the new life. I never really experienced the twos quite like this. I suppose it's just about time spent with Sam, more time = more twos...

Sonja is very busy and I'm struggling a bit with the change of pace…

Sam went to bed at a reasonable time last night for the first time! We'll see if it can stick.

The womens world championships of downhill skiing start tomorrow in the
mountains above Zagreb and on a big screen in Jelacic square...

More to come...

Grandma and Grandpa wish we were there.